Derek Craven would actively share the short stock information to the Redditors to take down Wall Street. Derek Craven would always know how to find my clit. Derek Craven would be the super proud dad in the audience of all his kid's recitals/sports games/etc. Derek Craven would build you a multi-story library with a ladder. Derek Craven would drink espresso. Derek Craven would kiss your temple while sending you back to your sleepy hometown "fiancé ". Derek Craven would make sure you came at least twice before him. Derek Craven would match his mask to your outfit. Derek Craven would own a fiercely-trained dog protector. Derek Craven would stop someone not wearing a mask from approaching into your 6 feet bubble with just his eyes. Derek Craven would use Twitter under an alias. Derek Craven would take naughty photos of you but only to show you how hot you look. Derek Craven would be mistaken for a hipster. Derek Craven would know the secret In n Out menu. Derek Craven would definitely punch a nazi. Derek Craven would insult the Queen to her face. Derek Craven would give you his mask. Derek Craven would read a romance novel out loud to you. Derek Craven would pin you against the wall and brace his arms on either side of your head. Derek Craven would lick you EVERYWHERE! Derek Craven would listen to Bel Biv Devoe. Derek Craven would eat a bug. Derek Craven would tackle you to prevent you from marrying someone else. Derek Craven would give neighbor kids Christmas treats. Derek Craven would get up with you, in the middle of night, when you have to feed the baby, and make sure you have enough water and snacks and pillows and something to watch while nursing.  Derek Craven would have a collection of first editions of all of Sara’s books. Derek Craven would learn to cook his woman's favorite meal. Derek Craven would bake you bread while wearing a "Kiss the Baker" apron.  Derek Craven would hold your mail up to a candle to read through the envelope.  Derek Craven would drive you home from a drunken girls night out then hold your hair when you pray at the porcelain altar with no judgement. Derek Craven would rearrange your library by color.  Derek Craven would Bring you prezzies, the heating pad, and treats when you are menstrual. Derek Craven would cry watching videos of dogs greet their soldier dads who are returning home from war. Derek Craven would sell all his stock in oil companies. Derek Craven would give you a sappy Valentine's Day card Derek Craven would give a withering stare down to that one guy who tried to take credit for your idea during the big meeting with management. Derek Craven would Roll up his sleeves to do just about anything. Derek Craven would build you a multi-level library with a ladder. Derek Craven would fun bank with Fated Mates and Indivisible Derek Craven would poop with the door open. Derek Craven would Have one (practical) meal he cooked perfectly without a recipe. Derek Craven would accidentally adopt Baby Yoda and take him everywhere Mandalorian style. Derek Craven would build you a library & help you stock it with your favorite books. Derek Craven would laugh at hedge funds crashing. Derek Craven would tie your garters. Derek Craven would be the best lover you've had. Derek Craven would read novels aloud to you. Derek Craven would keep that scrap of paper with your handwritten grocery list on it that accidentally fell beside the trash can instead of inside of it Derek Craven would chew off his leg to get to you. Derek Craven would know if you'd been replaced by your evil twin. Derek craven would definitey make you come first. Derek craven would adopt all the rescue animals at kill shelter and build them their own country estate where they can live happily ever after Derek craven would send Chris Harrison to the depths of hell. Derek craven would sleep with one of the house prostitutes because she looks like you. Derek craven would trim his armpit hair. Derek craven would would try to hide his smile of amusement from all the gushing love directed at him from all of us. Derek craven would get really attached to the dog he said he didn’t want. Derek craven would wear a face mask in a public library during a pandemic. Derek Craven would go down on you until you lost track of time. Derek Craven would secretly have newer and better spectacles made after he accidentally broke your old ones in his pocket. Derek Craven would comfort me emotionally and *physically* any time something remotely bad happened to me. Derek Craven would take care of these dang kids for me. Derek Craven would donate half his fortune to charity. Derek Craven would tell you that you’re driving perfectly when someone honks at you in traffic, then take down their license plate number for follow-up. Derek Craven would grovel. Derek Craven would totally kiss me so I'll stop talking. Derek Craven would silently pull a mask out of his pocket for you to put on before going into the store because you again forgot to bring your own with you. Derek Craven would absolutely give you the coat off of his back and wrap you all up in that snuggly goodness. Derek Craven would always keep the thermostat at the temperature you prefer. Derek Craven would save the hank you cried your tears into. Derek Craven would absolutely insist on following your firstborn child into their first day of preschool and grilling the teacher. Derek Craven would eat his feelings. Derek Craven would build me a she shed. Derek Craven would wear mittens you hand-knitted for him. Derek Craven would totally give you a pedicure if you asked him to. Derek Craven would send you a basket with the heads of your enemies as a gesture of love. Derek Craven would cut a bitch. Derek Craven would buy you flowers all the time, just because. Derek Craven would listen to every episode of fated mates, take notes, and discuss them with you. Derek Craven would lean in a doorway while brooding. Derek Craven would get you motrin and tampons from cvs when you’re on your period. Derek Craven would "borrow" your romance novel and read the whole thing. Derek Craven would absolutely be a White Sox fan. Derek Craven would massage your pregnancy ankles everyday. Derek Craven would Put snow tires on your car and get it detailed. Derek Craven would Steal the glass that you drank from because your lips touched it. Derek Craven would misplace all your knickers in the wash. Derek Craven would Shout “I object” at a wedding. Derek Craven would ...handwash your breast pump parts (because he loves you, supports your career, and doesn't trust the maid to clean them properly). Derek Craven would wear a fucking mask. Derek Craven would watch you while you listened to your podcasts on a headset so he could see your reactions. Derek Craven would remember your favorite romance hero’s name. Derek Craven would carry one of my Chapstick tubes around in his pocket. "You leave them everywhere." Too true. Derek Craven would dance with you on a table. Derek Craven would walk my Frenchie, who has colitis. Derek Craven would hunt down to maybe the point of murder, to get you the best chocolates for when it's your time of the month. Derek Craven would get a fucking covid vaccine to me and my family!!! Derek Craven would present you with a bag of heads. Derek Craven would 2restle a full-grown grizzly if his woman needed him to. Derek Craven would mow the lawn shirtless. Derek Craven would send you your enemy's heart in a box. Derek Craven would let you blow on his dice. Derek Craven would gift me one of his many properties to turn into a writing retreat for me and my writer friends. Derek Craven would steal your panties. Derek Craven would glare until you left the country. Derek Craven would would listen to me breaking into song and still love me. Derek Craven would spank you while you are pouring your coffee. Derek Craven would watch bridgertons with me. Derek Craven would fuck me senseless. Derek Craven would empty the dishwasher and leave you a donut after you finish a night shift. Derek Craven would wink at you in the stands after being sworn in to Congress. Derek Craven would order slices of cake just to watch you enjoy eating it. Derek Craven would build you your own charming castle in the middle of the countryside based on one offhand remark you made about liking that style of architecture. Derek Craven would read the romance novels you love. Derek Craven would send you a vibrator for while you were apart. Derek Craven would yell at your therapist for making you cry. Derek Craven would fuck you at your own art gallery opening. Derek Craven would send you a dildo shaped exactly like his penis. Derek Craven would read a romance if his woman asked him to. Derek Craven would bring you a cup of kickass tea in bed. Derek Craven would travel across town in a blizzard to get you your favorite dessert Derek Craven would reluctantly rescue a kitten from a tree Derek Craven would Derek Craven would steal my heart. Derek Craven would pack the kids’ lunches so you could sleep in. Derek Craven would repatriate stolen cultural heritage items from museums to their rightful owners. Derek Craven would make you drip coffee in the morning Derek Craven would handle the kids bedtime just fine. Derek Craven would dress up in a family costume for halloween if it's what Sara wanted. Derek Craven would carry your small dog around the park. Derek Craven would laugh at people offended by swearing. Derek Craven would shut down your computer without saving your work if you've been working too long Derek Craven would make you scream when you come Derek Craven would listen to soft podcasts Derek Craven would run you a bath at the perfect temperature every time. Derek Craven would vote to impeach Donald Trump. Derek Craven would buy your tampons. Derek Craven would stay up all night to pleasure his woman. Derek Craven would never tell you to smile, Derek Craven would never stay quiet when your dad said something mean to you. Derek Craven would never wear flannel Derek Craven would never send an email with the words "I hope this email finds you well" Derek Craven would support the career trajectories of the women who work for him. Derek Craven would never shut down the apps that let not-Wall Street people buy stocks. Derek Craven would never Not finish you off, if he came first. Derek Craven would never not tip at a restaurant. Derek Craven would never wear camo (like...never fucking ever). Derek Craven would never drink a latte. Derek Craven would never Let you out the kids to bed all alone cause he's so happy to have a family. Derek Craven would never come first. Derek Craven would never voluntarily take a selfie. Derek Craven would never own a small dog he considers useless. Derek Craven would never not believe in science or TikTok. Derek Craven would never Use Facebook under any circumstances. Derek Craven would never cut the sex out of your favorite audiobook. Derek Craven would never remember to water the house plants. Derek Craven would never go on a juice fast. Derek Craven would never leave time on the microwave so it flashed incessantly. Derek Craven would never tell you you look beautiful in that dress if you don’t look beautiful in that dress. Derek Craven would never wear a raincoat. Derek Craven would never buy roses on Feb 14th. Derek Craven would never release a breath he didn't know he was holding. He always knows. Derek Craven would never leave you unsatisfied. Derek Craven would never wear a man bun.Derek Craven would never play a team sport. Derek Craven would never propose on the jumbotron at a sporting event. Derek Craven would never actually steal your mail. Derek Craven would never harsh your buzz. Derek Craven would never roll his eyes when your period makes you anxious and crampy. Derek Craven would never try to convince you that camping is better than a fancy hotel suite. Derek Craven would never never manipulate the stock market for fun. Derek Craven would never ignore you to watch sports ball. Derek Craven would never use your good fabric scissors on a paper crafting project. Derek Craven would never bother me while I’m reading. Derek Craven would never be intimidated by buying tampons.  Derek Craven would never eat my chocolate bar. Derek Craven would never wear socks with sandals. Derek Craven would never complain that you spent too much money on books that month. Derek Craven would never shame you for your curiosity. Derek Craven would never but rose. Derek Craven would never do a cheesy public proposal. Derek Craven would never play devil's advocate. Derek Craven would never assume you didn’t want dessert. Derek Craven would never refer to taking care of his own children as “babysitting.” Derek Craven would never two ps in the v that is "his". Derek Craven would never wear matching pjs on a holiday card. Derek Craven would never need Viagra. Derek Craven would never use a Microsoft surface tablet. Apple guy, all the way. Derek Craven would never eat baby carrots. Derek Craven would never vote for Trump. Derek Craven would never make you ask twice. For anything. Derek Craven would never be an asshat to the library staff doing their job. Derek Craven would never insinuate the dinner I made was bad while being completely unwilling to cook anything himself. Derek Craven would never take care of these dang kids for me. Derek Craven would never vote for Donald Trump. Derek Craven would never just not get something you put on the grocery list because he “didn’t know what it looked like.” Derek Craven would never leave you on read. Derek Craven would never scratch his balls in public. Derek Craven would never flirt with another woman; he only has eyes for you. Derek Craven would never let you go to your high school reunion alone. Derek Craven would never live in an actual conveyance. Derek Craven would never forgive your enemies, even if you did. Derek Craven would never eat the special candy you got for the holidays without asking you first. Derek Craven would never enter said she shed. Derek Craven would never leave the toilet seat up. Derek Craven would never spell your name out in rose petals. Derek Craven would never break up with you on a post-it note. Derek Craven would never say you need to go on a diet. Derek Craven would never listen to the shelf love podcast. Derek Craven would never roll up his shirtsleeves and show his bare forearms. Derek Craven would never send a reply all email. Derek Craven would never shame you for your choice of reading material. Derek Craven would never ask his woman to use Uber Pool. Derek Craven would never leave the house without wearing a mask. Derek Craven would never make you do sports. Derek Craven would never admit that he stole the glass that you drank from because your lips touched it. Derek Craven would never forget to pack snacks for a road trip. Derek Craven would never dog ear your favorite book. Derek Craven would never let you color your hair because he loves his silver fox! Derek Craven would never endanger others by not wearing a fucking mask. Derek Craven would never use Irish Spring, no matter what a certain author said. Derek Craven would never use a car backup camera. He would put his arm behind the passenger seat while looking out the rear view and back up with confidence. Derek Craven would never eat the last piece of chocolate cake. He'd save it for me! Derek Craven would never fall asleep while you are talking to him. Derek Craven would never Give me up or let me down. Derek Craven would never talk over a woman in a meeting. Derek Craven would never drink my coffee without asking. Derek Craven would never not use a mask. Derek Craven would never ask Lisa Kleypas how she feels about this game. Derek Craven would never shame his woman for asking him to stop for fast food. Derek Craven would never blow leaves in noise cancelling headphones. Derek Craven would never would never let you keep the money he won from you blowing on his dice. Derek Craven would never make fun of people with food allergies. Derek Craven would never let you go without. Derek Craven would never have a pumpkin spiced latte. Derek Craven would never would never kill spiders for me, he would unionize them to terrorize my enemies. Derek Craven would never send a Hallmark card. Derek Craven would never go to Disney world. Derek Craven would never fart near me. Derek Craven would never eat the last [insert fave] without asking you if you’d had your fill. Derek Craven would never tell you you’re prettier when you blow out your hair. Derek Craven would never order three cake pops and not offer you one. Derek Craven would never sing karaoke with you. Derek Craven would never load the dishwasher incorrectly. Derek Craven would never start a running program while you’re pregnant. Derek Craven would never vote republican. (He recognizes inherently broken systems and the need for systemic change.) Derek Craven would never opt out of the COVID vaccine. Derek Craven would never send a dick pic. Derek Craven would never tell his woman she spent too much on an amazing pair of shoes. Derek Craven would never put an empty milk jug back in the fridge. Derek Craven would never give a PowerPoint presentation. Derek Craven would never let you get away with a surprise party for him. Derek Craven would never interrupt a work zoom meeting. Derek Craven would never test Nora Robert’s patience. Derek Craven would never wear Vineyard Vines madras plaid patchwork or appliqued khaki shorts. Derek Craven would never propose while you’re running a marathon. Derek Craven would never ask where the thing is in the fridge that was in plain sight. (Because he is the best of men.) Derek Craven would never eat quinoa. Derek Craven would never leave the store without a treat for you. Derek Craven would never end up on "am I the asshole" Derek Craven would never karaoke serenade you. Derek Craven would never propose by way of Jumbotron. Derek Craven would never insist that you be a sport about anything. Derek Craven would never eat the last cookie in the box. Derek Craven would never wear anything with the Punisher logo on it. Derek Craven would never use finger guns. Derek Craven would never participate in Derek Craven day (unless he figured out how to turn a profit). Derek Craven would never shame my kink. Derek Craven would never put nuts in your brownies. Derek Craven would never leave the toilet seat up. Derek Craven would never bring your mom flowers. Derek Craven would never bring you generic hot house roses. Derek Craven would never wear his mask below his nose. Derek Craven would never use bargain laundry detergent. Derek Craven would never drink a carmel frappe. Derek Craven would never let you make dinner without pouring you a glass of wine. Derek Craven would rub my feet Derek Craven would wear boxer briefs or go commando. Derek Craven would support his wife by publicizing her book/movie/work. Derek Craven would nick your knickers. Right in the pocket, after a good sniff. Derek Craven would have you read the romance novel you just wrote as he fucked you from behind but would place you in front of a mirror so he could see your face while you came with his dock inside you and your dirty words on your tongue. Derek Craven would pay his taxes on time Derek Craven would double mask Derek Craven would use Irish Spring soap Derek Craven would shovel out your car. Derek Craven would make love on a hammock Derek Craven would never drink Mountain Dew Derek Craven would never break down an Amazon box Derek Craven would never “circle back after the holidays” Derek Craven would never pretend to be sleeping when the baby woke up crying Derek Craven would never call parenting his kids “babysitting” Derek Craven would never put cream or sugar in his coffee Derek Craven would never munch on baby carrots.